Dear Readers,
I know you may be wondering what ever happened to that stravelista girl? Did she turn into a mime over halloween never to speak again?
Well I'm happy to tell you I'm still here planning my travels daily dreaming of places as I continue my daily routine.
Today I'm stuck in the middle between the life I used to lead and the life many of the people in my age group have started to lead. I know you shouldn't compare yourself to others and everyone has their time. I just wish I had a sign or a compass for life. Something that would gear me in one direction or the other. What do you do when you are no longer interested in nightclubs, random hook ups, living on gut instinct, but don't have the desire for houses, mortages, babies, and the like?
As the saying goes I don't know where I'm going I just know where I've been. I had a long time in which I regretted all the things I have not done and then I realized sometimes you need to give up some dreams for others..but what happens when you no longer dream?
At work recently I was asked what do you want? Where do you want to go? Everyone else in the room had a plan with a specific goal. Me? My answer you ask? To be happy. Such a simple statement but so hard to accomplish.
I look at the girl that came down here with a dream, inspired by the Kelly Clarkson song to make a wish, take a chance, and breakaway. And I wonder how at 22 things were so much clearer than they are right now. I have stopped looking back and now wake up everyday as a new chance but a chance at what?
I guess it's something hard for me to conquer because I was always the person that knew exactly what they wanted and would go for it and usually get it. Want to become a cheerleader but had no rythm and had a knack for tripping over my shoes? Practiced, practiced till my mom dreamnt of my cheers. Want all A's? Studied till I feel asleep on my books at the kitchen table. Liked that cute guy? Kept making eye contact and passing notes till he finally kissed me. Wanted to get to school with no help from my parents? Walked every step of the way even though it took twice as long.
I'm not one to give up BUT its hard to get somewhere if you don't know where that is. When will I feel as I did that day walking along the ocean as I will realized my dream had become a reality? How to achieve something when you don't know what you are looking for?
I guess you have to trust, trust that good things happen to good people and one day this, much like many days and experiences will just be a distant memory a snapshot in the collage they call life.
And with that readers, I only wish you moments that make your photo album fuller with stories to fill your future with joy.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Tribute to turning 30
As a new year begins, I have taken a few minutes to think about what I have learned in the past three decades....
1.
You can’t make everyone happy-The more you try
the less happy you will make yourself. This is not to say not to be good to others but be better to yourself.
2.
Sometimes you just have to say no. This is not
always easy but often people will just ask and take until you no longer allow
it.
3.
No one will give you anything. You need to ask
for it. It’s much easier for people to keep things as they are until you decide
what you want and don’t settle for anything less
4.
Things will work themselves out the more time
you spend analyzing and trying to figure it out the worse it is.
5.
Life will change. As much as you feel you have a
lot of time you don’t. If you want to do something to do it you have many years
to make up for it.
6.
There is a lot you will never experience, a lot you
will never see. Appreciate what you have seen and done as we can’t all have it.
7.
Everyone has a story, a past.
8.
Forgive yourself first. You are probably a lot harder
on yourself than others are on you.
9.
Have a goal. Without an end point you will never
get there.
10.
Savor the moment. Take a moment to stop and look
around. Travel. Explore.
11.
Remember what is important. Work will always be
there tomorrow.
12.
Google doesn’t always have the answer.
13.
Be careful who you confide in
14.
Your true friends will be there no matter what,
even if you don’t think you deserve it
15.
Every day is a new day. Wake up and try not to
let the frustrations of tomorrow interfere with today.
16.
You never know who is watching and admiring you.
17.
Sometimes the most difficult choices are the
most important ones.
18.
Take a moment out to look at old pictures.
Remember who you once were. Imagine who you want to be.
19.
Remember accomplishments aren’t always moving
mountains
20.
Always keep those you love close to your heart
21.
Positive energy can produce much more than
negative energy will
22.
Keep things in perspective, this too shall pass
23.
Remember its ok to change
24.
People will leave you and you will be forever
changed
25.
Things
won’t always happen when you expect them to
26.
Live life with your heart but also your brain
27.
Breathe
28.
You have touched more lives than you realize
29.
It’s ok to still not have it all figured out
30.
One day you’ll look back and wish you were the
age you are right now and think about how much easier life was then. Take what
you can from each day and move on.
Dear Reader, What are the biggest lessons you have learned?
Dear Reader, What are the biggest lessons you have learned?
Friday, February 17, 2012
Looking Foward....
At six month before turning 30 I have decided not to focus so much on what should, would, or could be. Recently hearing the tremendous amount of coverage on Whitney's life made me wonder. Why do people care so much? Yes she was a celebrity. But when you watch the awards shows at the end of the year you realize how many celebs pass each year.
To me it's because each of sees ourselves in her. I'm not going to say she was perfect and made all the right choices but then again...how many of us do?
Instead I am focusing on what I believe she did...finding small things to look foward, embracing what makes you special: love, family, dreams and above all strength... I have my countdown of how many days until I see an old friend or how many days until a vacation I an looking foward to experiencing. More and more I realize you need to take care of yourself just like you would your kids or associates.
I may not know exactly where I want to be in five years...well to be honest I don't even know where I want to be in in a year or some days a month from now. But I know I want to be happy. Perhaps that begins in baby steps in having reasonable expectations, taking it one day at a time. At the end of the day, YOU need to be your biggest cheerleader you need to appreciate the small stuff because people stopped patting you on the back years ago.
To me there is a big difference between looking straight and looking foward. Change is very difficult for me but recently friends have shown me it is possible even if it means hurting those you love along the way you need to do only what you can handle. It's important to not feel bad about asking for help. Sometimes the right person can be your angel when you really need one and make you realize your not that different than themselves.
People used to call me a social butterfly or a bumble bee. I loved people unconditionally no matter how much they hurt me and truly wanted to do whatever it took to make people's lives better. Then life events caused me to distance myself from close relationships and it became a self actualizing philosophy. I believed people were going to hurt me or dissapear on me and I tested people who I loved the most to see their response, test the strength of their friendship. And it made me realize I'm not as strong as I used to be, but like Whitney no matter my hardships I want to live, like tiny tim I believe that people are good at heart and life is meant to be experienced as hard as it can be...and that is why I am now focusing on what can doing whatever it takes to make MY life better...
And with that....I look foward and hope for the best....and I send that same sentiment out to all of you.
To me it's because each of sees ourselves in her. I'm not going to say she was perfect and made all the right choices but then again...how many of us do?
Instead I am focusing on what I believe she did...finding small things to look foward, embracing what makes you special: love, family, dreams and above all strength... I have my countdown of how many days until I see an old friend or how many days until a vacation I an looking foward to experiencing. More and more I realize you need to take care of yourself just like you would your kids or associates.
I may not know exactly where I want to be in five years...well to be honest I don't even know where I want to be in in a year or some days a month from now. But I know I want to be happy. Perhaps that begins in baby steps in having reasonable expectations, taking it one day at a time. At the end of the day, YOU need to be your biggest cheerleader you need to appreciate the small stuff because people stopped patting you on the back years ago.
To me there is a big difference between looking straight and looking foward. Change is very difficult for me but recently friends have shown me it is possible even if it means hurting those you love along the way you need to do only what you can handle. It's important to not feel bad about asking for help. Sometimes the right person can be your angel when you really need one and make you realize your not that different than themselves.
People used to call me a social butterfly or a bumble bee. I loved people unconditionally no matter how much they hurt me and truly wanted to do whatever it took to make people's lives better. Then life events caused me to distance myself from close relationships and it became a self actualizing philosophy. I believed people were going to hurt me or dissapear on me and I tested people who I loved the most to see their response, test the strength of their friendship. And it made me realize I'm not as strong as I used to be, but like Whitney no matter my hardships I want to live, like tiny tim I believe that people are good at heart and life is meant to be experienced as hard as it can be...and that is why I am now focusing on what can doing whatever it takes to make MY life better...
And with that....I look foward and hope for the best....and I send that same sentiment out to all of you.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Has mr. he'll do taken the place of mr. right?
Today I was overcome by the surpising realization that I still get nervous about first dates. That feeling of spending an hour or two with a complete stranger never dissapears no matter how many dates I go on. Going through the same motions expecting a different outcome some would call stupid. yet every day milions of people meet someone hoping for a connection.
It seems it was almost easier when we were younger and had no pressure or expectations but truly were looking to have fun with someone. Now we try to truly give that person a chance but we can't help pick up on not feeling a connection or pet peeves we may have the person does. Meanwhile we hear the voice of our parents or our happily relationshiped friends saying "Give him a chance".
Then there is the multiple options out there. You wonder if you should settle for someone that seems like they will do or if you should hold your playing hand hoping for that winning card. We have such a high rate of divorces today. Part of that can be due to not wanting to put the work in but alot also has to do with the feeling that there are so many other people out there in the world. The ease of connecting with someone by sending a quick email.
I wonder if many people get into their early to mid 30's realize their perfect person hasn't been met and go for the next acceptable candidate. The he has potential or he seems nice. Then there is those that keep waiting for that perfect person, and later realize they were too picky or their expectations were too high.
Woman are having more and more independance with each decade pasisng. They are waiting longer and longer to have kids. Unlike many generations we are given 5, 10, 15 years, to have our "me" time after we graduate college, yet we still have trouble finding that recipe for that person we want to end up with.
Online dating has done away with true blind dates. We see the person's picture, read their profile, talk on the website, email, and text. By the time we meet we have expectations. No matter how many friends I talk to none have said oh he was much better than I expected! For most, they are dissapointed yet the virtual matchmaker continues to grow at a high rate as the years go one.
Alas...what's a girl to do..?
It seems it was almost easier when we were younger and had no pressure or expectations but truly were looking to have fun with someone. Now we try to truly give that person a chance but we can't help pick up on not feeling a connection or pet peeves we may have the person does. Meanwhile we hear the voice of our parents or our happily relationshiped friends saying "Give him a chance".
Then there is the multiple options out there. You wonder if you should settle for someone that seems like they will do or if you should hold your playing hand hoping for that winning card. We have such a high rate of divorces today. Part of that can be due to not wanting to put the work in but alot also has to do with the feeling that there are so many other people out there in the world. The ease of connecting with someone by sending a quick email.
I wonder if many people get into their early to mid 30's realize their perfect person hasn't been met and go for the next acceptable candidate. The he has potential or he seems nice. Then there is those that keep waiting for that perfect person, and later realize they were too picky or their expectations were too high.
Woman are having more and more independance with each decade pasisng. They are waiting longer and longer to have kids. Unlike many generations we are given 5, 10, 15 years, to have our "me" time after we graduate college, yet we still have trouble finding that recipe for that person we want to end up with.
Online dating has done away with true blind dates. We see the person's picture, read their profile, talk on the website, email, and text. By the time we meet we have expectations. No matter how many friends I talk to none have said oh he was much better than I expected! For most, they are dissapointed yet the virtual matchmaker continues to grow at a high rate as the years go one.
Alas...what's a girl to do..?
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Is Technology making Dating more Difficult?
I remember watching the Jetson's growing up thinking about how much easier life would be if I only had a robot to help clean my room. As time went on I realized how much quicker it was to find out the answer to a question with a computer instead of having to go to the library and look through the card catalog and multiple books to find out the same infomation. But now I wonder is technology making life, specifically dating any easier?
A friend of mine recently gave me an update on the guy whom had not only asked for her number but almost slipt and fell while being our waiter since he was staring so hard at her. He asked for her number and they talked until he had to to back to work. They had been texting and emailing since then. So far so good right?..yes I though the same util he asked her if she had time in her schedule that week to..oh no, not go go on a date..well not an in person one at least..to skype with him. He works four blocks from her house and he asks to skype!
Then another friend called me all excited that she felt real potential with the online guy she had been talking to. I asked her why? She said after months of emails, im's, and facebook messages they were finally going to meet. This was a big step the in person meeting. Years ago that was the FIRST step.
This past week I was setting up a first date. It took over an hour via text message. A phone call would have taken five, maybe ten minutes.
This got me thinking about something that has grown into a modern day dating ritual. Has our practice of the concept of updating your facebook status to dating as a public way of showing you are serious about the person the modern version of getting pinned in the 1950's? We no longer have to have men call our house on the one landline or ask for our parents hand in marriage. We no longer have chaperones as they did years ago. Yet dating takes just as long if not longer to meet someone.
We are able to meet people and within 10 minutes of talking to them have researched then on facebook, linkedin, and twitter. So why does it take so long for us to feel that we truly know a person? What is the point of sending a text message saying hi and when the other person writes back hi the conversation ends?
I'm sure that technology has its positives when it comes to dating such as all those couples that may have never met and those long distance relationships that are stronger now that they can physically see the person before they go to bed, but I wonder how we can uncomplicate the technology of dating in the modern age.....
Perhaps these days everything is at our fingertips, except another's heart....
A friend of mine recently gave me an update on the guy whom had not only asked for her number but almost slipt and fell while being our waiter since he was staring so hard at her. He asked for her number and they talked until he had to to back to work. They had been texting and emailing since then. So far so good right?..yes I though the same util he asked her if she had time in her schedule that week to..oh no, not go go on a date..well not an in person one at least..to skype with him. He works four blocks from her house and he asks to skype!
Then another friend called me all excited that she felt real potential with the online guy she had been talking to. I asked her why? She said after months of emails, im's, and facebook messages they were finally going to meet. This was a big step the in person meeting. Years ago that was the FIRST step.
This past week I was setting up a first date. It took over an hour via text message. A phone call would have taken five, maybe ten minutes.
This got me thinking about something that has grown into a modern day dating ritual. Has our practice of the concept of updating your facebook status to dating as a public way of showing you are serious about the person the modern version of getting pinned in the 1950's? We no longer have to have men call our house on the one landline or ask for our parents hand in marriage. We no longer have chaperones as they did years ago. Yet dating takes just as long if not longer to meet someone.
We are able to meet people and within 10 minutes of talking to them have researched then on facebook, linkedin, and twitter. So why does it take so long for us to feel that we truly know a person? What is the point of sending a text message saying hi and when the other person writes back hi the conversation ends?
I'm sure that technology has its positives when it comes to dating such as all those couples that may have never met and those long distance relationships that are stronger now that they can physically see the person before they go to bed, but I wonder how we can uncomplicate the technology of dating in the modern age.....
Perhaps these days everything is at our fingertips, except another's heart....
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Top Tips to Making and Keeping your New Years Goals
First off, I am not a fan of the resolution process. I believe that most of the time all you do is take your new years high and ruin it by forcing yourself to make promises half of which you totally forget a week later. Saying this, there are definetly things I want to improve on in my life. So how to go about this and not feel like a failure the following year?
1. Be realist- Rome wasn't built in a day and you won't lose 15 lbs in a week.
2. Start small- If you start small it will be like climbing a small hill instead of a mountain. For example, I am going to start running once a week. Yes this doesn't sound so amazing but it's a small goal from my zero times a week.
3. Pick one goal- If you pick more than one you will get caught in the whirlwind and accomplish none.
4. Get a calendar-Put a smily face or check mark everytime you do something positive towards the goal. Put an x everytime you so something negative. If possible write down what you did as well.
5. Find a cheerleader-Pick someone that will help you celebrate your successes and help coach you when you fall away from the goal.
6. Reward yourself!-This doesnt have to be anything huge just something small to recognize what you have accomplished. A chocolate bar a new ring etc.
7. Don't do it to do it!- Don't just pick a goal because you feel it's a new year and you have to. Do this because you truly feel you can accomplish the goal
8. Have a timeline not a deadline-Most things in life take longer than we would like them to do so. It's ok if you haven't accomplished this goal by a certain date, what matter is that you accomplish it at all.
9. Don't only set goals at the beginning of the year- Many people tell themselves that the year is half over or almost done why start a new goal now. Don't make excuses as soon as you accomplish one goal celebrate. Then make the next one!
Have confidence! You need to believe you can accomplish the goal before anything can happen. It's a New Year reader! Go conquer the world one small step at a time! I truly hope 2012 is a wonderful year for all of you!
.
1. Be realist- Rome wasn't built in a day and you won't lose 15 lbs in a week.
2. Start small- If you start small it will be like climbing a small hill instead of a mountain. For example, I am going to start running once a week. Yes this doesn't sound so amazing but it's a small goal from my zero times a week.
3. Pick one goal- If you pick more than one you will get caught in the whirlwind and accomplish none.
4. Get a calendar-Put a smily face or check mark everytime you do something positive towards the goal. Put an x everytime you so something negative. If possible write down what you did as well.
5. Find a cheerleader-Pick someone that will help you celebrate your successes and help coach you when you fall away from the goal.
6. Reward yourself!-This doesnt have to be anything huge just something small to recognize what you have accomplished. A chocolate bar a new ring etc.
7. Don't do it to do it!- Don't just pick a goal because you feel it's a new year and you have to. Do this because you truly feel you can accomplish the goal
8. Have a timeline not a deadline-Most things in life take longer than we would like them to do so. It's ok if you haven't accomplished this goal by a certain date, what matter is that you accomplish it at all.
9. Don't only set goals at the beginning of the year- Many people tell themselves that the year is half over or almost done why start a new goal now. Don't make excuses as soon as you accomplish one goal celebrate. Then make the next one!
Have confidence! You need to believe you can accomplish the goal before anything can happen. It's a New Year reader! Go conquer the world one small step at a time! I truly hope 2012 is a wonderful year for all of you!
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