You know you live on Miami Beach when..

As I close the book on my Miami chapter, at least for now I think back to what surprised me the most when I moved here. When I started to realize Miami was changing me, now for the better or worse that's not for me to decide. So to those first few years I dedicate this blog. Miami thank you for never being boring for attracting characters that always make us secretly impressed by their confidence to be who they really are in their hearts. I once was told you attract alot of lost souls. That may be true but we somehow find each other and I for one was found. Thank You for making me feel normal, well liked, and confident something I desired to experience. Everyone warned me against you but you took me under your wing and wouldn't let me go. Thank You for surprising me with amazing people when I least expected it and showing me there was alot more to you than many people think. Top 20 Miami Beach Observations: 20. You can't handle quiet for long as you are so used to every restaurant, store, bar, pharmacy, gas station having a dj. 19. You get somewhere 10 min late and are considered early. 18. As soon as you park you have your credit card ready to pay for parking even for the library and supermarket. 17. You've stopped being surprised when the smell of weed hits you as soon as you enter a club or see two girl rub their nose as they take way too long in the bathroom when you are waiting cross legged on line. 16. You stop wondering how so many people are at the mall, supermarket, beach at 2pm on a Monday. 15. Going out on a Tuesday is totally normal and you no longer shake your head in disbelief when the place is packed. 14. You start to talk in doorman lingo like its your native language and feel accomplished when you crack their code. You look at people that try to let themselves out of a velvet rope club as crazy. Did you see they tried to touch the rope themselves?? What if the bouncer saw? You slowly see your outfits getting more and more risque but don't even question it because its so normal. 13. You never understand people that ask how you know you've reached the ocean when driving. You wonder why so much construction has to be done at the same time and always when you need to get somewhere and why your gps was not informed. 12. You no longer listen or look up when you hear multiple accents at the same time and you try to live down your shame you only know one language, You stop playing the where are you from guessing game because the answer is always Cuba, South America, or NY. 11. You will think you have seen it all until you go to a party and girl deliberately wears a short skirt with no underwear or be at a pool party and the guy stuffs his pants or walk on Lincoln and see the girl in the tight gold bathing suit and heels at 8pm. 10. Being in miami you may have a job but being a professional race car driver is your career. You start to change how you drive and don't realize it until someone is next to you in the car praying for their life as you quickly make a you turn for that parking spot or abruptly avoid the driver that has decided the off ramp is now an on ramp. 9. You feel a slight psychotic sense of accomplishment when you find a parking spot at 2am on a saturday night and even almost stick your tongue out at the car behind you doing a super bowl touch down dance my spot spot bam take that! 8. Without realizing it you start to speak in spanish while at stores and restaurants, when you start to dream in spanish then you get worried. You no longer think all the signs in two languages are unique and take it as normal. 7. You see nothing wrong with filling a water bottle up with vodka before you head out. That's like $100 worth of shots at the club. 6. No matter how many times you see the ocean you are still in awe, promise you will do the 3 block walk more often (that is why you moved right?) and fall asleep with the sounds of ocean drive in your ears. You secretly pretend you are on vacation and that work does not exist down the street..Actually, you have debated quiting your job and becoming a beach bum..They really do have the best real estate at the best price and you can learn to fold those grass flowers or collect coconuts. 5. No matter how short you think your skirt is once you leave the house you feel perfectly normal sometimes over dressed. I'll never forget my first halloween when I had a full fledged chef costume and after the first costume party realized it wasn't about the costume but about the amount of skin one could legally show. 4. Which leads me to the supermarket dress code or lack thereof. Where else but in miami can you see shirtless beach dudes mixed with single ladies in heels and tight outfits mixed with moms who look like there is no way theu ever had a child mixed with guys in suit and ties and no one blinks an eye? 3. During the holidays feeling tempted to valet your car at the mall and think swoop, 25 cent buses, and scooters are normal ways of transportation anywhere 2. Thinking a city 30 minutes away is another country and way too far to drive just for one night. 1. Instead of reading the NY Times you read the New Times with your breakfast. When you get to the sexual advice columns and the oriental massage ads you decide you need another cuban coffee.

As we reflect....

From experiencing loss and heart breaks, I know as time goes on that your memories of that day of tragedy start to fade. The day when your whole world changed is still there but the memories are not as strong. For many of us in college and high school on September 11, 2001, that was the day we all grew up. Sure we may have still played flip cup and used our bedroom doors as beer pong tables but part of us was changed forever. September 11 would become like December 25 or February 14 a day we would hear and no longer just be a day on a calendar but be so much more. This date grew to have a heavy meaning to it much heavier than the Tuesday we didn't feel like sitting through a two hour class.

I remember.....I remember praying that our EARLY 10am class would be canceled the night before after drinking way too much and bonding with our new roomates, suitemates, and  boyfriends. And then it was.

What sticks with me today surprisingly are not the horrific images we all watched on tv that day. Instead it was the raw emotion and energy we all felt. No matter where we were in the world or in the country for that matter we felt connected. People's hearts were ripped out of their chest. As I looked around today seeing students study and couples date I noticed how no more than 30 seconds went by before they looked at their cell phone or computer. Amazingly 12 years ago when something  indescribably bad happened we did not go to our gadgets for comfort instead we went to each other. We went for hope, we went for hugs. When we could not contact our loved ones via the phone we did not have the choice to facebook them, or send a text message. Instead we just had to wait, hope, and pray. Hoping the concern from across state lines and oceans would be enough to protect those we cared about most.

Even today when the world wide web and wifi are everywhere even in the remotest villages, even today when we believe we can google any question we may have there is still so much we don't know so much we can not control. What amazes me is how the heart has a way of remembering the good much more than remembering the bad. Somehow the good stays with you and the bad slowly slips away.

The amazing thing is you may forget what you saw but you never forget how it made you feel. We all remembered having to ask our parents where they were when jfk was shot when we learned about it school. That tuesday in 2001 we didn't know exactly what happened but we knew it was big. We knew one day we would be telling our children and now although many of us do not believe it those kids are here and we can only hope they never have to tell a similar life experience story to their kids one day.

I am blessed that most of the people I spent that blur of the week with I am still in touch with. And similar to that day we were reminded that the present truly is a gift and we never know what may happen to shake up our world. I remember hearing so many stories about people's siblings not much older than myself that had studied hard like I was doing, gotten the job of their dream and now were missing.

Last year I made the effort to visit both the Marriott Financial Center and the site of the towers being built. I reflected on how grateful I was to be given the chances I have had even though I have made many mistakes along the way and how many people involved were not much older or even younger than I myself am today. The day I went was a beautiful day much like that morning was in 2001 and you could almost feel the souls speaking to you to never forget.

So Class of 2004 as you start the fall of 2013, I hope you are happy wherever you are in life. Embrace those opportunities you have been given whether it is the city or job of your dreams, travels you will always remember, kids, nieces, and nephews, husbands and wives, nights you will never forget and days you never wanted to end.  The freedom to have those experiences came at a high cost. But we still live and we still remember.

To all of you thank you for supporting my blog and other endeavors. It's never too late to take a risk and I know those brave souls both the survivors and the lost would be believing in the idea of believing in yourself no matter what may come. Live and Love that is my message for today.

Are women really liberated?

Our great grandmothers, grandmothers and mothers fought hard so women would have the right to vote, the right to work in careers previously deemed only suitable for men, receive higher education, the choice to wear clothes and music that they chose and to make their own decisions in regards to their sexual health and pregnancy. We like to brag and feel pride that we have so much more than generations before us. But do we really? How free is the female gender?

I know these women truly thought they were not only improving their lives but generations to come. So why do I bring up this topic today in 2013? Aren't we independent? We pay our own bills, have our own cars and apartments, plan our days and goals. Often we go weeks even months without a date without any assistance from a man and we get by just fine.

I spent two days this weekend with two girlfriends. One I met years ago at 25 and one I met two days ago. While we hung out this weekend on separate days in different venues the conversation went back to dating and men. I could not help but think to myself: Imagine the impact we could have if we bottled up the time and energy we spend analyzing men's actions. "I texted him a smiley face did that scare him off? What if I wore blue instead of red maybe then he would be contacting me?"  and poured it into examining ourselves? What makes you happy? What are your goals? What are your dreams? And they are not alone every day millions of girls including myself try to strike freedom and independence from guy's approval and not understanding when they do not act as we wish.

Later that evening, I poised the question to a new guy I have been spending time with. Why do guys no longer make the effort? We had a long talk and he seemed to think that girls worked so hard to gain independence that guys now want just that an independent woman that doesn't care if he texts because she is too busy running her own crusade. Will the supreme court next be hearing about Sue vs. Sue, the independent woman I am in all areas expect those of the heart? How do we take the world by storm and show woman how many hours they spend worrying about men when those men are only becoming stronger as they don't have to fight so hard for independence from obstacles of the heart?

Are we really still hunters and gathers? Men hunting the woman just  to have options and for woman to gather opinions about their un answered text messages? Will human kind be able to survive this new age world of internet dating and disappearance text messaging? Have we become too big brother having the power to follow our crushes every move on facebook, twitter, and online dating venues? As spiderman said, with great power comes great responsibility. So please the next time you're into someone and they aren't making the effort just let them go. Have we come so far just to regress?

Nature vs. Nurture...Love another four letter word. In the end it all comes down to choice. Rule love and dating or let it rule you. And remember the  most important thing is to love yourself. If you do the rest will follow..