Looking Foward....

At six month before turning 30 I have decided not to focus so much on what should, would, or could be. Recently hearing the tremendous amount of coverage on Whitney's life made me wonder. Why do people care so much? Yes she was a celebrity. But when you watch the awards shows at the end of the year you realize how many celebs pass each year.

To me it's because each of sees ourselves in her. I'm not going to say she was perfect and made all the right choices but then again...how many of us do?

Instead I am focusing on what I believe she did...finding small things to look foward, embracing what makes you special: love, family, dreams and above all strength...  I have my countdown of how many days until I see an old friend or how many days until a vacation I an looking foward to experiencing. More and more I realize you need to take care of yourself just like you would your kids or associates.

I may not know exactly where I want to be in five years...well to be honest I don't even know where I want to be in in a year or some days a month from now. But I know I want to be happy. Perhaps that begins in baby steps in having reasonable expectations, taking it one day at a time. At the end of the day, YOU need to be your biggest cheerleader you need to appreciate the small stuff because  people stopped patting you on the back years ago.

To me there is a big difference between looking straight and looking foward. Change is very difficult for me but recently friends have shown me it is possible even if it means hurting those you love along the way you need to do only what you can handle. It's important to not feel bad about asking for help. Sometimes the right person can be your angel when you really need one and make you realize your not that different than themselves.

People used to call me a social butterfly or a bumble bee. I loved people unconditionally no matter how much they hurt me and truly wanted to do whatever it took to make people's lives better.  Then life events caused me to distance myself from close relationships and it became a self actualizing philosophy. I believed people were going to hurt me or dissapear on me and I tested people who I loved the most to see their response, test the strength of their friendship. And it made me realize I'm not as strong as I used to be, but like Whitney no matter my hardships I want to live, like tiny tim I believe that people are good at heart and life is meant to be experienced as hard as it can be...and that is why I am now focusing on what can doing whatever it takes to make MY life better...

And with that....I look foward and hope for the best....and I send that same sentiment out to all of you.

Has mr. he'll do taken the place of mr. right?

Today I was overcome by the surpising realization that I still get nervous about first dates. That feeling of spending an hour or two with a complete stranger never dissapears no matter how many dates I go on. Going through the same motions expecting a different outcome some would call stupid. yet every day milions of people meet someone hoping for a connection.

It seems it was almost easier when we were younger and had no pressure or expectations but truly were looking to have fun with someone. Now we try to truly give that person a chance but we can't help pick up on not feeling a connection or pet peeves we may have the person does. Meanwhile we hear the voice of our parents or our happily relationshiped friends saying "Give him a chance".

Then there is the multiple options out there. You wonder if you should settle for someone that seems like they will do or if you should hold your playing hand hoping for that winning card. We have such a high rate of divorces today. Part of that can be due to not wanting to put the work in but alot also has to do with the feeling that there are so many other people out there in the world. The ease of connecting with someone by sending a quick email.

I wonder if many people get into their early to mid 30's realize their perfect person hasn't been met and go for the next acceptable candidate. The he has potential or he seems nice. Then there is those that keep waiting for that perfect person, and later realize they were too picky or their expectations were too high.

Woman are having more and more independance with each decade pasisng. They are waiting longer and longer to have kids. Unlike many generations we are given 5, 10, 15 years, to have our "me" time after we graduate college, yet we still have trouble finding that recipe for that person we want to end up with.

Online dating has done away with true blind dates. We see the person's picture, read their profile, talk on the website, email, and text. By the time we meet we have expectations. No matter how many friends I talk to none have said oh he was much better than I expected! For most, they are dissapointed yet the virtual matchmaker continues to grow at a high rate as the years go one.

Alas...what's a girl to do..?

Is Technology making Dating more Difficult?

I remember watching the Jetson's growing up thinking about how much easier life would be if I only had a robot to help clean my room. As time went on I realized how much quicker it was to find out the answer to a question with a computer instead of having to go to the library and look through the card catalog and multiple books to find out the same infomation. But now I wonder is technology making life, specifically dating any easier?

A friend of mine recently gave me an update on the guy whom had not only asked for her number but almost slipt and fell while being our waiter since he was staring so hard at her. He asked for her number and they talked until he had to to back to work. They had been texting and emailing since then. So far so good right?..yes I though the same util he asked her if she had time in her schedule that week to..oh no, not go go on a date..well not an in person one at least..to skype with him. He works four blocks from her house and he asks to skype!

Then another friend called me all excited that she felt real potential with the online guy she had been talking to. I asked her why? She said after months of emails, im's, and facebook messages they were finally going to meet. This was a big step the in person meeting. Years ago that was the FIRST step.

This past week I was setting up a first date. It took over an hour via text message. A phone call would have taken five, maybe ten minutes.

This got me thinking about something that has grown into a modern day dating ritual. Has our practice of the concept of updating your facebook status to dating as a public way of showing you are serious about the person the modern version of getting pinned in the 1950's? We no longer have to have men call our house on the one landline or ask for our parents hand in marriage. We no longer have chaperones as they did years ago. Yet dating takes just as long if not longer to meet someone.

We are able to meet people and within 10 minutes of talking to them have researched then on facebook, linkedin, and twitter. So why does it take so long for us to feel that we truly know a person? What is the point of sending a text message saying hi and when the other person writes back hi the conversation ends?

I'm sure that technology has its positives when it comes to dating such as all those couples that may have never met and those long distance relationships that are stronger now that they can physically see the person before they go to bed, but I wonder how we can uncomplicate the technology of dating in the modern age.....

Perhaps these days everything is at our fingertips, except another's heart....

Top Tips to Making and Keeping your New Years Goals

First off, I am not a fan of the resolution process. I believe that most of the time all you do is take your new years high and ruin it by forcing yourself to make promises half of which you totally forget a week later. Saying this, there are definetly things I want to improve on in my life. So how to go about this and not feel like a failure the following year?

1. Be realist- Rome wasn't built in a day and you won't lose 15 lbs in a week.

2. Start small- If you start small it will be like climbing a small hill instead of a mountain. For example, I am going to start running once a week. Yes this doesn't sound so amazing but it's a small goal from my zero times a week.

3. Pick one goal- If you pick more than one you will get caught in the whirlwind and accomplish none.

4. Get a calendar-Put a smily face or check mark everytime you do something positive towards the goal. Put an x everytime you so something negative. If possible write down what you did as well.

5. Find a cheerleader-Pick someone that will help you celebrate your successes and help coach you when you fall away from the goal.

6. Reward yourself!-This doesnt have to be anything huge just something small to recognize what you have accomplished. A chocolate bar a new ring etc.

7. Don't do it to do it!- Don't just pick a goal because you feel it's a new year and you have to. Do this because you truly feel you can accomplish the goal

8. Have a timeline not a deadline-Most things in life take longer than we would like them to do so. It's ok if you haven't accomplished this goal by a certain date, what matter is that you accomplish it at all.

9. Don't only set goals at the beginning of the year- Many people tell themselves that the year is half over or almost done why start a new goal now. Don't make excuses as soon as you accomplish one goal celebrate. Then make the next one!

Have confidence! You need to believe you can accomplish the goal before anything can happen. It's a New Year reader! Go conquer the world one small step at a time! I truly hope 2012 is a wonderful year for all of you!

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Is Customer Service Undergoing its own Recession?

Many companies conduct many trainings in regards to the importance of quality customer service to a companies survival.Why then when so many companies are going bankrupt in our recent challenging economy is customer service becoming obsolete?

Recently, I received a safety alert for my car. While getting this part replaced I brought up the fact that I was dissapointed that on top of the idea that I may have been driving a car for years that may have had a faulty part; I was even more upset that the paint was pealing off of my car. They agreed that this should not happen so soon as in many ways my car was practically new. They then went to work on my car. An hour later, when I asked what they suggested they told me the guest service manager had gone for the day as they were trying to save money on the payroll. I told them that I might want to buy a new car in the future and this response was not acceptable. The representative then told me that as my car was past its' warranty there was nothing that could be done. I explained to them that as a customer I'd like options not just to be brushed off.

My brother years ago had a similar problem with his car and in the end as they did not want to lose a valuable customer they gave him the paint job. Now let me be clear this is not about me getting something free. This is about the fact that while I was sitting in the magazine-less waiting room as may car got worked on the manager did not walk over to talk to me as a human. Instead he had the next person tell me "nothing we can do".  All I wanted to was to be treated as a person for someone to apologize their car had not held up well and give me a price quote of how much it would be to fix it, especially if it wasn't normal for a cars paint to peel so soon. This left a bitter taste in my mouth and made me wonder how a company could treat their customers like they are worthless when so many people have stopped buying cars due to the economy.

Then, today I went to the mall and again I was dissapointed. I had bought a dress in August for my birthday picnic. When finally arriving at the picnic, a friend of mine asked me if I was trying to start a new fashion. I was a bit confused until she gently told me the security tag was still on my dress. After blushing a few different colors I decided to enjoy the picnic and deal with it later. Now similar to many people in big cities, the nearest big mall to me is about 30 minutes away. I can't just run over to this store during my lunch break, so I usually go a few times a year when I want to do a big shopping. For small shopping I have stores right in my neighborhood. So today, I finally got a chance to go over there. I ask a young girl if she can take the tag off so I can finally get use out of the dress. She tells me I need to go to the customer service line which had 25 people on the line. I tell her I am not waiting and ask for a manager. The manager whom was standing by two other employees talking asks what the problem is. I explain and she tells me do you have the receipt? I explain it was in the bag which I later used to go to the beach the next day where my water bottle opened and spilled. She tells me "sorry not my problem". I told her I purchased a product from you, gave you money, now I want to be able to wear my dress. She calls over her boss. He shakes my hand and looks me in the eye. I tell myself finally someone that cares. I give him the same story and explain I can log into my credit card account to prove I had paid for and purchased a dress there in August. They agreed the dress was obviously a summer dress but that I could have bought another dress and be trying to make believe the one I had in my hands was bought and paid for. I explained that if I had stolen the dress why would I wait four months to get the tag off when the dress was not even in style anymore. The male manager told me that they had thousands of dollars in fraud and could lose his job for removing the tag. In reality if the dress had been stolen by now they would have already lost the revenue. I told him that as the manager his job was to find me a solution or at least options. I was looking for a new years dress and felt that with so many stores closing the least he could do was to be the one to stand up have some courage and go above and beyond for me. Either remove the tag, look through the computer system with my credit card to prove I had purchased the item, or foward my complaint to his boss. He would do none of the above, so I walked out of the store with no intention to ever return there again. I called my credit card company to fight the charge but they said as I had the item that I could not fight the charge. Since when are people so scared of losing their jobs they won't take a chance to succesfully take care of their customer?

Since when are companies training their staff that customer satisfaction is worth nothing and only the bottom dollar matters? There used to be a concept of exceeding expectations and this is what made some comapnies exist for many years looks at Walt Disney World or Ritz Carlton, they were built on the idea that the customer is always right and your most important part of running a business is your responsibility to the consumer. This concept is what has kept them in business through wars, political conflict and economic disaray. What about the idea it takes money to make money? I would probably have spent $200 in that store this year, now I will spend none all over a $20 dress which was not taken care of properly by their employee.

You'ld think that with a bad econonomy companies would want to take the very best care of their customers as in this day and age blink and those people could be gone moved on to a place where they believe their hard earned money deserves to be spent. As we all go through our jobs on a daily basis, let's not lose sight of the big picture. You never know what effect your small act of kindness could have, maybe one day just the act that keeps you employed when others are not.

Dear Readers: What do you think? Do you think that with a slow economy that customer service is disappearing?

We're all connected...or not?

Our generation has spent many years searching for an identity. While at summer camp we would have special dress up days of the 50's-poodle skirts, 60's-peace signs, 70's disco balls, and 80's big hair and blue eye shadow. We all wondered, "What will we be characterized with one day?" I figured as the years went by I would find this answer. Yet 12 years after the 90's ended I still have no answer to this question.

Many have called us the microwave generation or the me generation. But what does this really mean? Yes we like things fast, yes the idea of loyalty is a dying art. We no longer Memorize our friends addresses and phone numbers. We are the generation that can not handle losing our phone because, "Omg, how do I call my mom I have no idea what her number is" or it's my friends birthday but I have no idea where she lives. Many do and will define us by the large number of technological inventions that occured during our formative years. But I can not find it in me to embrace this theme.I can't help but remember that advertising campaign..We're allllll connected ....New York Telephone. This popular theme song was released in the late 1980's. Is it still true today?

 The people of the 20's and 30's were brought together by the depression and prohibition. The 40's had world wars. The 50's bonded people from rock and roll and I have a dream. The 60's reminded people to imagine that all you need is love. The 70's encouraged people of all different backgrounds to boycott the Vietnam War and to support feminism to not just accept but to make a stand. The 80's expanded our growth abroad as many companies opened up offices in other countries and the birth of the music video made the world feel that much smaller as people tried to out do each other in the fashion world.....Then the 90's and beyond happened and a question comes to my mind.

Are we the most connected generation, the most disconnected?

We are one of the few generations with no cause to fight for. Part of us gets an amazing sense of belonging when something bad happens in the world such as the World Trade Center Tragedy, Columbine, and the recent wall street collapse. We have the world at our fingertips. We dont even have to get out of bed and walk outside to experience the weather. We need to pay our bills? We don't have to run to the post office. Want to arrange a date? Tap. Text sent date sent. I have to wonder how our world is being affected by the fact that many people no longer food shop in person or that post offices are becoming an endangered species? What is learning to read like when it is from an electronic device and not the book passed down from your older sister that secretly has hearts and her name all over it? One of my favorite memories will always be when I was about 12 looking through my mom's photo albums of her at 22, filled with friends, smiles, and her boyfriends heads cut off (hey some things don't change!). Will I one day be sitting with my child on facebook showing her the current 1, 770 pictures that currently identify my 20's?

I love my smartphone, gps, and computer as much as the next person but I can't help wonder are these inventions worth the gain? I remember as a child not wanting to bother my dad because he was busy on the umfoter (computer). How many more family meals will be shared by someone secretly texting under the table, or a date you walk past that instead of the young couple being engrossed in each other they both have their phone on the table. What is it about our electronics that we choose to hold them so tight? The other day I was driving and saw a woman with a starbucks coffee in one hand and her iphone in the other. She had two fingers on the wheel with her son in the back seat.

When I talk to most of my friends the most common theme is stress and lonliness. The need to feel close to someone without distractions. How many times have you been out with a friend and they have one eye on you one on their phone or computer. It is quickly becoming the norm to walk the street and instead of enjoying the beautiful day you are talking on your bluetooth. We all remember when we used to think that person had some kind of disorder talking to themselves. Now it is normal. Next thing we know they will have bluetooth for planes, trains, and subways. Anything so we don't have to be exposed to each other. We have conversations online or via text we would never have in person. I remember traveling when you really could get lost and had to get the courage to ask a stranger. Now you download an app and listen to what the computer says of how to get back.

In the 80's and 90's there were many movies out that show the evil of machines. Now we spend our days celebrating them without always examining the consequences. I look at my generation and wonder if we will be sitting in the nursing room texting when our grand kids come to visit. Will we be able to disconnect or will our addiction to upgrades and having to own the newest on the market over take what really matters.

Our generation is getting divorced more and more and getting married later and later. We have learned the importance of realizing OUR dreams. But can we really do this without each other? We are one of the most independant generations but are we the happiest? When was the last time we stopped and realized what an amazing world we live in? Thought a guy with a guitar was king? Saw someone across Grand Central Station and communicated only via peace sign? Danced all night only focusing on the beautiful disco ball overhead and not someone's shiny new phone? Are we missing what is right in front of us because we are so focused on who's status update we could be missing?

Imagine all the people...living life today...Some may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one. Try for a moment to disconnect....so the world could be as one.

All is Calm, All is Bright...at the airport

When I think about my favorite part of traveling some may call me crazy. The airport? Lines, delays, cancellations and lost luggage may be the images that comes to mind when we think of traveling these days. But for me the airport holds this amazing energy that can only be found in a place where every possible emotion can be found in the same place. As soon as I enter the airport I feel this amazing sense of the unknown. Who will I meet? How full will my plane be? Will I find a place to charge my phone?

The first time I knew I was truly grown up was when I flew alone. No one was there to hold my hand and tell me where to go. It was up to me to make sure I got to the right gate at the right time. Up to me to decide how to plan my flight time. This is truly the one time you leave the world we know and experience a world  that is just about you, your book, and your nap.

For one moment in my busy day I stop and take in everything going on around me.  People are often so focused on where they are going they don't stop and appreciate where they are. I see the flight attendants getting off the plane, going to the gift shop and saying hi to the cashier they have established a relationship with. The mother with the child that has just learned to walk running around the airport after her young son, hoping this will tire him out for the flight but secretly wishing for a moment he was still; a newborn again where she could sit even just for 5 minutes. The nervous first time traveler constantly checking that they have their boarding pass, id, and personal items. The long distance relationship wishing time would speed by so they could be in their beloved arms again. The young soldier coming back from war relieved to be going home but wondering what life will be like in the world they once knew but now have to rediscover.

To me the airport is my safe place. The place where I truly can control what I have the power to be in awareness of such as, not losing things, getting there on time. Everything else like much of life is left up to fate. You just have to hope and pray your timing was correct and that the mechanics and weather of the day hold up. It's the place where no one knows who I am or where I come from. I can truly be whomever I want to be. It's one of the few places in the world that a random stranger can come up to you share their story and either through a sense of boredom or relief you respond. You find out you have a commonality of being on the same flight heading to the same destination and are two people sharing the same journey even it is only for an hour or two. You discuss things you would never tell your best friend. There is a certain familarity of going through the same motions everytime you fly. To me the airport is my first destination to explore before my final destination. I see the people of all different ages and wonder what their stories are.

It's also a place that kindness happens when you least expect it, from the airport security that called over the radio if you have left a necklace at security...I touch my neck, where is my favorite necklace? I run back..I think that is my necklace. What does it look like? Well..it's a tiny turtle..yea this is yours. To the time I almost missed my flight and another passanger let me go first at security.

It's also a place you test yourself. Can the 5  foot girl get her 20 lbs carryon into the luggage compartment singlehandly or will a nice young man offer his assistance? It's that feeling of what will happen, of not knowing my exact future that I love and live for and that feeling of accomplishment when I return to that exact location when I return home. It's not often that life forces us to stop, look, and absorb. The next time you travel don't complain about the challanges of security (such as the people that always insist on throwing my yogurt away, it's not a real liquid people!), dont whine about your flight being delayed 20 minutes, instead absorb all that around you. Appreciate that you have been given a gift. The gift to experience, explore, to stop even momentarily your all consuming crazy life and just....fly.